Misconceptions Turned to Love

Dear Mommy,

For as long as I can remember, I have thought about you every day. It has never occurred to me, though, to write you a letter. So here it goes!

I used to have a lot of anger and confusion about you taking your own life. But I quickly understood. Having your husband come out to you while you are suffering from post-partem depression is not something I think a lot of women would be able to handle. I can not imagine that I would. This has been the biggest regret of Daddy's life. You might not know this, but when Daddy came clean to you, he had no intention of leaving you; you and I were the center of his universe.

It took me many years to forgive Daddy. I felt like he robbed me of you. But I know that he had no way of knowing what the impact would be of telling you, he only knew he had to do it and be authentic. It just was not the best time for it. He has lived with partner Jim since I was 4 and they are now married. I call Jim Papa.

For a long time I have felt a little uncomfortable about having two fathers, since I knew no other kids with a similar situation. However, I also knew that I was loved and cared for and that I was very blessed and lucky to have a family, even if it didn't look like how others did.

Your twin, Aunt Stef and your older sister Aunt Susan are the closest things I have to a mom. They filled in with all the stuff Daddy and Papa were not experienced with like hair, makeup, clothes, and "girl issues." I was well taken care out so you do not have to worry about that.

When I was in college, I was baptized and joined the Church. I know that that was something you wanted for me when I was child. Daddy could not bring himself to do it. It might be more authentic this way anyway. I was worried that I would be judged and hated because of who raised me, but I was not! I was welcomed with open arms and loved. So many misconceptions were cleared. Coming into the Church is also how I met Bobby.

2018 is turning out to be a big year for me. The baby girl you knew is turning 25 later this month. Also in July, Bobby and I are getting married in his hometown. I spoke with the priest and it is totally fine for Daddy to walk me down the aisle. He'll be giving me away not only on his and Papa's self, but also on yours.

Love,

Your daughter loves and misses you very much.