This is a safe space for us to better understand the LGBTQ family experience by reading, writing and sharing letters.
I Don't Hate You Anymore

I Don't Hate You Anymore

January 5, 2015

Dear Dad -

I don't hate you, anymore. When we were on TV you learned that I hated you while I was growing up and it's true, I did hate you. However, that is the past.

I don't hate you for all the times you yelled at me and I didn't know why.

I don't hate you for how you treated my mom.

I don't hate you for being the father that was physically home less than he was away.

I don't hate you for your emotional absence.

I think I get it now. I understand and I want you to know that. It doesn't make all of the actions in the past okay, but it means that I can finally move forward.

I hope someday you will understand as well.

I hope you will see that I struggled too. I felt alone, I cried, I was closeted too. It wasn't just you. This was all of us.

I am happy that we made it this far and I hope our relationship continues to grow for both of us. Life is precious and fragile - I know how lucky I am to have my dad still living.

Neither one of us ever knew love before, but right now, today, I think we both get it.

And that's all I ever really wanted.



The Beating Heart

The Beating Heart